i think i have two assholes
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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