Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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