Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
