so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
