Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Did you just see the Batmobile???
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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