I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
it's like iHOP with fire
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
