He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
