Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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