your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I have fence marks all over my body
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I wear drunk well.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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