This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
