real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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