I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I'm really busy with my period
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