I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
