I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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