I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
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Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
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Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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