I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
