its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
