no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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