so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
where are my eyebrows?
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