There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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