I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
