He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
