Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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