she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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