final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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