i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
