Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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