after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
