she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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