just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
