i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize