dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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