smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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