PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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