Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
