First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Say something about gay babies.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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