If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
