Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
