i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
