I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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