So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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