I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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