I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
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he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
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Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
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