two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize