i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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