Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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