OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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