i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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