I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
