The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
