You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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