oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
