my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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