My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
