this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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