i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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