Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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