he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
