what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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